She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
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