absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
