If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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