hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
