Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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