what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
