Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.

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(540): View more from Virginia

all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.

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(443): View more from Maryland

like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine

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(602): View more from Arizona

By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm

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(757): View more from Virginia

So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?

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(407): View more from Florida

Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?

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