it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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