how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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