I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
