so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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