you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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