Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
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He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
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He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.