I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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