D3 body, D1 cock
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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