stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
