My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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