You're so nebulous sometimes
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
