That's intense
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
