Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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