rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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