So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
