The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
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The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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