Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
