Im at strip club and am horny
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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