I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
