That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
