I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
