So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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