You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
