I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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