I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
