i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
