the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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