ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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