the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize