how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
