Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
