i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
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I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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