And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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