He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
im holly from the hills drunk
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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