Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
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Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
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I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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