So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
