i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
