yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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