I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
home. puking in laundry basket.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
