Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
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I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
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I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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