my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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