i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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