Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
