My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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