We're facebook friends in real life
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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