Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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