Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize