Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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