The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize