i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So apparently I’m into choking now
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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