i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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