A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
