did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
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that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
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If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
is it fun? or sober?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize