At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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