loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Randomize
