You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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