he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
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she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
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Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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