I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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