we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
