I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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