so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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