My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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