dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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